November 13, 1931 – May 25, 2026
It is with deep sadness that we share the news of the passing of Irwin Steuer on May 25, 2026, at the age of 94. Irwin was a devoted husband to Wilma, his beloved wife and partner of 71 years; a loving father to Gary (Sophie), Ken (Lisa), Ted (Suzette), Matthew (Constance), and Dan (Raquel); grandfather to Rachael, Leah, Emma, Eve, Olivia, Jonah, Audrey, Isaac, Lily, and Esme, and great-grandfather to Caroline, Alessia, Juliana, and Iggy. And he adored his grandkids’ partners, extended family, friends, neighbors, and his entourage of “surrogate sons.”
Irwin led a rich life filled with exploration and adventure. He grew up in Brooklyn, the child of Helen and Solomon, brother to Hope (who predeceased him) and went to the University of Pennsylvania. There he was set up on a date with another Brooklynite, Wilma Lou Rabinowitz, a beautiful and intelligent student at Bryn Mawr College. They were immediately smitten and married in 1954. Irwin became a dentist, serving in the Navy at Newport, RI (he liked to joke that he survived “the battle of Narragansett Bay”) where their first child, Gary, was born. After his military service, he completed post-graduate work to become an orthodontist and practiced in Manhattan for many decades.
After Newport and a short stint living in Brooklyn, Irwin and Wilma raised their growing family on the upper west side of Manhattan, where they took full advantage of the tremendous culture and diversity that the city offers. Family trips included anti-war and civil rights marches in Washington, as well as trips to Colonial Williamsburg. Ever the jokester, he was famous for bringing life to any gathering. He took his family on “mystery trips” – driving to sites, adventures, hikes where they had no idea where they were going until they got there. One famous such trip went to Rye Playland, which happened to be closed that day, much to the chagrin of his sons. He took family and friends on hikes where he invariably underestimated both the difficulty and time needed, generating lots of grumbling and memories. Even so, his sons each developed a love of the outdoors and appreciation of natural beauty.
The family discovered the beauty of Vermont over many summer rentals and Irwin and Wilma eventually bought a house that would become their second home in Andover, VT. Irwin discovered cross-country skiing and snowshoeing, becoming an avid winter adventurer, including serving as a volunteer “trail chief” with the Catamount Trail Association in Vermont. He also went on ski adventures in Norway, Colorado, Wyoming and Maine.
He organized annual winter ski gatherings with his sons and his many surrogate sons, a tradition that continued for decades. Initially dubbed, with tongue firmly in cheek, the Male Sensitivity Training Weekend (organized in response to the women’s group gatherings his feminist wife organized that he was somewhat jealous of). Over the years these gatherings became rewarding experiences of emotional sharing and camaraderie.
In the early years of parenting, Irwin was a more traditional creature of his times. But over time this old dog did learn new tricks and became an increasingly loving, warm, and vulnerable father, grandfather and great-grandfather. He also became an increasingly loving and demonstrative husband to Wilma.
In keeping with his passion for learning, Irwin was an accomplished amateur photographer, building a darkroom, and taking photographs both in New York and on his travels around the country and the world. He also was a voracious reader about the world, politics and culture, poring over The New York Times, the New Yorker and other publications, literally cover to cover. He cared deeply about justice and was an active supporter, with Wilma, of many organizations like the ACLU and Planned Parenthood, as well as cultural resources like The Juilliard School.
Irwin loved art from a very young age, and as part of his orthodontic practice often treated the children of artists, bartering braces for artwork. Notably, the son of artists Christo and Jeanne-Claude, and through this and buying art that moved him and Wilma, they filled their home with meaningful pieces. He also developed a love for indigenous masks and acquired a varied collection from different cultures.
He was an active cross-country skier and golfer well into his 80’s. As his physical capacity began to limit those activities, he continued to fully enjoy the cultural (and culinary!) assets of New York, attending student performances at Juilliard, as well as performances at Lincoln Center, the Joyce Theatre, and other theatre companies.
Irwin’s life remained full and rich, filled with family and friends, laughter and conversation, dinner parties, arts and culture for more than 90 years. He was deeply connected with his forever sweetheart and love of his life, Wilma Lou. Even up until his final days, they sat together holding hands as they watched TV (Jeopardy was a special favorite, as well as the news, and tennis -a late-in-life obsession for both). Even as their world narrowed, it did not matter as long as they had each other. He also truly basked in the love and attention of all his sons and grandchildren and all of their partners, and great grandkids.
Irwin was without a doubt one of a kind who will be deeply missed. All who knew him were made richer by that relationship and his big and rewarding life.
If you would like to make a donation in Irwin’s name, please consider a gift to the Juilliard School at https://giving.juilliard.edu/donate
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